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AFBAmerican Foundation®
for the Blind

Expanding possibilities for people with vision loss

sexuality and the blind

I'm a filmmaker from Boston, and currently, I am working on a screenplay exploring the sexual identities of people who cannot see. If anyone has any information about how the blind determine their sexual orientation, please feel free to contact me at mellydude@hotmail.com

thanks a lot

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Re: sexuality and the blind



My name is Thea. I am a totally blind from birth, bisexual Christian.
My attractions stem from the sound of a person's voice, the smell of their cologne or perfume, the feel of their soft hands, how affectionate they are, (I really need lots of affection), the way they treat me, (treat me like a princess, and I'll probably fall like a pack of cards), even the sound of a lovely name.
My dream girl, though I've never met her, is named Rosalind.
I am a totally blind from birth, bisexual Christian woman. I am attracted by the sound of a person's voice, the smell of their shampoo, cologne or perfume, the way they treat me, how affectionate they are, even their name. For instance, my dream girl's name is Rosalind; my dream guy is named I am a totally blind from birth, bisexual Christian woman. I am attracted to the texture/sound of their voices, love Afro-American or British accents, attracted to the way I am treated and how affectionate they are.


Re: sexuality and the blind



If you know of any gay LBGT sites please suggest them to http://www.theblind.us/ Thanks


Re: sexuality and the blind



I am gay and my partner and I have been married 23 years.
/
www.theblind.us/


Re: sexuality and the blind



Sexuality is sexuality. Being sighted or blind doesnt really come into play if you are gay or straight with the exception that blind people are better lovers since with are so tactile!
http://theblind.us/


Re:sexuality and the blind



my wife is totaly blind. we share the rudest of thoughts about those we know. there is the agony of slow, slow hands.


Re:sexuality and the blind



I am a sited woman in a relationship with a man who has been blind since birth. Just like those who are sited sexuality and the blind person(s) can possess some universal traits and simular experiences, but a person's (blind or sited) sexual attitude, prowness, preferences, skills and e.t.c. are a unique combination that is individual to each and every person...just like our personalities are.


Re:sexuality and the blind



Ice Girl: e-mail me:
panglobal @ charter.net


Re:sexuality and the blind



i know a gal who got a bump on her head a few years back. she has lost and will loose all sight. she still has a powerful sex drive for men, quietly at mid age.

someone ought to discuss blindness due to trauma to the head.


Adding to My Last OneRe:sexuality and the blind



I am adding on to my last post after reading this page. Now I have never been totally blind so I can not speak credibly for that community. But I will say that the nuances of a voice can be a turn-off, and that intuition can also tell me of good or bad intentions or even threats. For myself and my visually impaired friends, there is such a thing for us as visual attraction, I.e. haircut, tan, clothing choice. Recently, the guy below me was listening to a heavy metal band on the radio, and through going down to ask who it was (Myself being a big fan of hard-edged music), I ended up making a new connection. I proceeded to offer some assistance to him and his father in fixing up the place, having some experience using manual tools such as a hammer or screw driver. Some call these unusual tastes and talents for a blind or visually impaired woman. Unfortunately the sighted community judges mainly on their own learned preferences from the media, as well as cultural norms, and no standard of "good or bad" should be set.


From a VI College GirlRe:sexuality and the blind



I'm a low partial college student from Illinois, and though I'm straight I have friends who are bisexual or gay both blind and sighted. For me there was no difference. I can intuitively read everything from bad moods, to white lies, to genuine interest in the tone and choice of words. And it is as simple as the fact of whether or not you are attracted to your own or the opposite gender or both.


Re:sexuality and the blind



Hi Ray
I have been following this thread for a few years and was quite excited to read of your intended research in this area.
It is a subject which I have always found fascinating, and thought that there would be some extremely interesting answers in studying the sexuality of those blind from birth.


Re:sexuality and the blind



Hi,
My name is Ray O' Neill. I posted back in 2008 and I am now researching sexuality and the blind full time as my doctorate research with Dublin City University. I am focusing on people who have been blind since birth, or very soon thereafter and I am particularly interested in hearing from people who have been blind since birth and identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual. And though some of the postings are from a while back, I wondered if anyone has any luck, advice or information on sexual identities of people who cannot see. Or if anyone was in touch with you regarding any information about how those blind from birth determine their sexual orientation. If you do happen to have any links/advice or help, please let me know at this email address. ray@machna.ie

Thanks Ray


Re:sexuality and the blind



Hi,
My name is Ray O' Neill. I posted back in 2008 and I am now researching sexuality and the blind full time as my doctorate research with Dublin City University. I am focusing on people who have been blind since birth, or very soon thereafter and I am particularly interested in hearing from people who have been blind since birth and identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual. And though some of the postings are from a while back, I wondered if anyone has any luck, advice or information on sexual identities of people who cannot see. Or if anyone was in touch with you regarding any information about how those blind from birth determine their sexual orientation. If you do happen to have any links/advice or help, please let me know at this email address. ray@machna.ie

Thanks Ray


Re:sexuality and the blind



My last post was made as a statement, but what I should have posted was a question, one of the questions I have been asked is, am I concerned of passing the genetics of blindness to my children, there is a huge gap between the sighted and the blind regarding perceptions of what it is to live with blindness, I so much want to bridge the gap so my children do not have to through what I did, I currently do not have any children, but would like some of my own one day..

I think sexuality is a good topic, I apologize if my last post made me appear as a know it all, I most certainly do not know everything about blindness, as I lose more and more of my sight the greater my desire to find a companion, I am a straight male seeking a straight female, and my question is what coping strategies and / or solutionw did you use to find your loved one?

David Best
aniridia_changing_perception@hotmail.com


Re:sexuality and the blind



I am a heterosexual visually impaired Male, I have never seen a ugly person, until they got close to me, much like having beer goggles permanently attached to one’s face.

They’re are many questions that I would be unable to answer, the urban legend that a blind person is better in bed due to higher sensory perception is purely to the individual personal talents, however the blind and visually impaired individuals may display more enthusiasm and desire to please then the sighted so as to over come the perception of being perceived week from they’re disability, the selfless attitude towards the partners happiness is perceived more desirable then a selfish one, and in turn perceived to be better in bed, this scenario would be completely dependent of the individuals life experiences, but with the increased sense of hearing, and the individuals ability to listen to cues from a partner, such as breathing rate, heart rate, the micro twitching of the involuntary muscle spasm, may prove this urban legend true.

I have great difficulty meeting new people, you have to see a person before you can greet the person.

All people judge the physical attractiveness of a person, it is the measuring stick of how healthy a person is mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, of every aspect of a persons life, I would hazard to guess the blind and visually impaired are no different, however I believe they see attractiveness in a different perspective, the question about attractiveness is a complex, and very much a individual thing, but I will mention one aspect, in the all American dream holly wood has created, the man is to bring home the bacon, provide for the family, the blind man is at a disadvantage in the modern world of climbing the corporate ladder, there are many obvious reasons for this, ever seen a blind man be issued a drivers licence, a mandatory requirement to climb the corporate ladder is the mobility that can only come from having a drivers licence, the opportunities passed by because of the lack of minimum requirements in a visually obsessed world, in turn effects the attractiveness of a man because of the lack of success, creating a perception of weakness, the whole cycle perception = attractiveness leads to attractiveness = perception is rubbish, the sighted world needs to get off they’re high horse and stop being so ignorant and pig-headed.

These are just my opinions, one person in a sea of people, I do not assume my opinions reflect. that of the majority of blind and visually impaired, but rather from my own personal experiences.

The greatest obstacles to the blind and visually impaired, are the perceptions the sighted world have, changing perceptions, one perception at a time.

Aniridia Changing Perception
http://www.aniridiachangingperception.com

Sincerely,
David Best


Re:sexuality and the blind



hello all

since i was young, my only sexual wish has been to make love to a totally blind man. i am a sighted heterosexual female. if any blind man is interested to chat or exchange e-mails with me, he is most welcome. ii would love to make new friends. blind women or gay blind men can also take up this offer. i look forward to know their world from their perspective.

my e-mail is : rijulad@yahoo.com

love

tuna


Re:sexuality and the blind



08/12/08 I hope to generate a new round of duscussion. I recently met a visuaslly impaired gay man who posed an interesting question; which I volunteered to research for him. Does anyone know why or know of studies/testimony of gay men that after becoming blind turn from being givers to being receptive?

Thanks for any comments
Richard at txrookie37@aol.com

Thanks all


Re:sexuality and the blind



Hi,
My name is Ray O' Neill and I am researching sexuality and the blind here at the Access Office here at Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland. I saw your postings, and though some of the postings are from a while back I wondered if anyone you had any luck, advice or information on sexual identities of people who cannot see. Or if anyone was in touch with you regarding any
information about how those blind from birth determine their sexual orientation. If you do happen to have any links/advice or help, please let me know at this email
address.

Thanks Ray

Ray O' Neill
Educational Guidance Tutor
Trinity Access Programmes
Goldsmith Hall
Trinity College

01 8963345
oneillr@tcd.ie
www.tcd.ie/Trinity_Access





Re:sexuality and the blind



I know a site BiLoves, a Web site for bisexual and bicurious looking to explore their sexuality. You can make many friends here, meanwhile, I believe many ppl there need your help.


Re:sexuality and the blind



Interesting...lots of topics I hadn't expected when researching sexuality and the blind. I am the parent of a vision impaired son who is getting ready to graduate from high school. As he says, "Chicks don't dig the blind guy..." I am looking for information on how to let his relationships with the other sex happen naturally--or as least as "naturally" they can be within his world setting. I am looking for materials, research and advice on how to prepare him for the real world and college when he hasn't even held hands or taken a girl to the movies yet...


Re:sexuality and the blind



for me i think it is a little better dating a blind guy then someone who can see. they are able to get a person to see themselves from all angles. even sexually. they can touch the person who they are have sex with and beable to do things better. i know this wont make sense to anybody. i know what i am thinking. well i am going to go bye


Re:sexuality and the blind



Hi. I'm a radio producer producing a piece about sexuality and blindness. I'd really like to interview anyone who would be willing to talk. I'm really interested in talking about how much of sexual attraction and desire is NOT visual. Also, do the same stereotypical standards of beauty apply? are thin bodies still considered more "desirable?" does smell play a really important role? what about voices?

ANyway, if you're interested in being interviewed please contact me at
sarahyahm@gmail.com


ISO of a blind gay man



I am a gay man, I am not blind but always wanted to meet a blind gay man to be my life mate. lf there are any sites where I can search for a blind mate please let me know. My email: tanlikesuntan@yahoo.com
Thank you,
Tan.


Re:sexuality and the blind



if anything i think being blind as made me more kinkier and more intense as you touch a lot more now and being blind and sex for me i would have to say it is better more deeper feeling your way around a body you get to know everywhere


Re:sexuality and the blind



I have 2 questions:
1). These responses are very old. Does anyone even CHECK these message boards these days?
2). Does the AFB and other organizations for the blind tell the blind folks to try and date/marry/stick with other blind folks?
3rd question:

If a blind heterosexual man was to want to date a sighted
female,...where would he go to find one?

Thanks.

Juls


Re:sexuality and the blind



While visual stimulus is one way that many sighted people experience sexual desire - there are other senses which also play important roles. As a gay man, I find that a person's smell is an important factor in whether I find them attractive. Also the sound of a man's voice - deep and masculine is a big turn on. In addition, the touch of a man's body - hairy and/or muscled is also a stimulus. In addition to that - people are attractive because of who they are as well as how they look. A person's attitudes, personality and interests all contribute towards whether we find them attractive or not. There is an excellent essay by a blind gay man at the website http://www.chanton.com/blindandgay.html. This is well worth reading for anyone who wants to understand what it is like to be blind and gay.


Re:sexuality and the blind



I am not a psychologist or any other type of medical professional, this is just a thought that I have pondered over the years. That there are blind gay people in this world flies in the face of many of the arguments concerning homosexuality being a "learned" behavior. Many of those arguments are based sight. And, I do wonder what makes someone attractive to a visually impaired person. I assume that it is a combination of words, voice and touch. How does a blind person even know who is touching them? How does the touch of a male feel any different from that of a female? In a dark room, I certainly could not tell the difference between the two.


Re:sexuality and the blind



To me, as a sighted gay man, this is a fascinating subject that has not even begun to be explored by the medical or psychiatric community. The fact that there are homosexually oriented people who have been blind since birth flies in the face of most, if not all, of the
"ex-gay" movements which tout that being gay is a visual learned experience. I would love to hear more on this subject.


Re:sexuality and the blind



I do believe that blindness affects my sexuality. I am totally blind. As I have gotten older, I find myself more and more in need of touching, affection, and physical contact. I want to give and receive hugs; and there was a time that I never wanted to be hugged by a man, but now, I would be more open to that. I am happily married, and my wife and I have a very loving relationship. This topic of sexuality and blindness is not often discussed--perhaps for obvious reasons--but I would very much like to explore it openly with people of both genders.


Re:sexuality and the blind



So, can you clarify for me what you mean by orientation? Generally, the term would be used to signify whether an individual was GLBT. For some, it may also mean gender specific information, such as, how one person knows they are male or female, or how they perceive their gender in comparison with other people. For a blind person this may be very different. I work with all variations of disability in regard to sexuality and being blind is one thing, but being blind AND say, non-verbal adds a different understanding of gender altogether. By this I mean that homosexuality (and the notion of it as a possible description of the self)and gender identity can take on a totally different meaning to someone who is non-verbal and blind. So, before I go on, could you clarify your question? Thanks. R Morgan


Re:sexuality and the blind



I feel that sexual attraction is not only visual, it can be a lot more than that. For example, sexual attraction may involve behaviours, affection, or even conversation. I really do get tired of people beleiving sexual attraction is based solely on visual appearance, there is a lot more to sexuality than that. What fun would sex be if all you could do was watch? Personally, I am attracted to many attributes of people. I find my self attracted to people who aren't afraid to deviate from the norm, what ever that may be.


what turns on a blind man?



In examining my own sexuality and why I am what I am, I started to wonder about the sexuality of people who are blind from birth. I am a visually-oriented homosexual man. Though I can also be turned on by hearing sexy words from a man without seeing the man, the conceptualization of a man is all visual to me.

To put it crudely, how does a blind from birth man get turned on? How does he differentiate male from female? Is there a higher proportion of blind gay people?

Care to share your thoughts in this forum? Or e-mail to me direct at bucenpo@yahoo.com


I'm Puzzled Too



You pose an interesting question. As a blind, gay social worker, I can find no distinctive features that seperate the process of discovering ones sexual orientationfor disabled people from non-disabled people. I think thereare different ways blind people "find" other gay or lesbian people with whom to socialize, since meeting people..discovering subtle indications of intrest...is so very visual thought body language.
I'm president of Blind Friends of Lesbians and Gays, an affiliate of ACB. Feel free to write for further discussion.
Rob Hill
rhill@telepath.com di




Explore this domain by contacting American Foundation for the Blind or Columbia University School of Social Work. There may be clinical or case work paers availabable on this matter.
Be prepared to provide a high level of personal credentials prior to inquiry, such PhD psychologist, etc.


honestly curious



What's your take on this? Have you had any responses that suggest there's something inherently different between blind and sighted people? I don't get it.


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