sexuality and the blind

Posted by mellydude on 2/8/2001 1:16:00 PM.

There are currently 22 replies.

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  honestly curious
  Posted by howard7 on 03/12/2001
  
  What's your take on this? Have you had any responses that suggest there's something inherently different between blind and sighted people? I don't get it.
  
  

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  Posted by edwin goldberg on 03/14/2001
  
  Explore this domain by contacting American Foundation for the Blind or Columbia University School of Social Work. There may be clinical or case work paers availabable on this matter.
  Be prepared to provide a high level of personal credentials prior to inquiry, such PhD psychologist, etc.
  
  

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  I'm Puzzled Too
  Posted by Rob-OK on 04/14/2001
  
  You pose an interesting question. As a blind, gay social worker, I can find no distinctive features that seperate the process of discovering ones sexual orientationfor disabled people from non-disabled people. I think thereare different ways blind people "find" other gay or lesbian people with whom to socialize, since meeting people..discovering subtle indications of intrest...is so very visual thought body language.
  I'm president of Blind Friends of Lesbians and Gays, an affiliate of ACB. Feel free to write for further discussion.
  Rob Hill
  rhill@telepath.com di
  
  

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  what turns on a blind man?
  Posted by test on 04/28/2001
  
  In examining my own sexuality and why I am what I am, I started to wonder about the sexuality of people who are blind from birth. I am a visually-oriented homosexual man. Though I can also be turned on by hearing sexy words from a man without seeing the man, the conceptualization of a man is all visual to me.
  
  To put it crudely, how does a blind from birth man get turned on? How does he differentiate male from female? Is there a higher proportion of blind gay people?
  
  Care to share your thoughts in this forum? Or e-mail to me direct at bucenpo@yahoo.com
  
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by johannz on 10/28/2001
  
  I feel that sexual attraction is not only visual, it can be a lot more than that. For example, sexual attraction may involve behaviours, affection, or even conversation. I really do get tired of people beleiving sexual attraction is based solely on visual appearance, there is a lot more to sexuality than that. What fun would sex be if all you could do was watch? Personally, I am attracted to many attributes of people. I find my self attracted to people who aren't afraid to deviate from the norm, what ever that may be.
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by robnicmorg on 02/26/2002
  
  So, can you clarify for me what you mean by orientation? Generally, the term would be used to signify whether an individual was GLBT. For some, it may also mean gender specific information, such as, how one person knows they are male or female, or how they perceive their gender in comparison with other people. For a blind person this may be very different. I work with all variations of disability in regard to sexuality and being blind is one thing, but being blind AND say, non-verbal adds a different understanding of gender altogether. By this I mean that homosexuality (and the notion of it as a possible description of the self)and gender identity can take on a totally different meaning to someone who is non-verbal and blind. So, before I go on, could you clarify your question? Thanks. R Morgan
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by spaniel on 03/10/2003
  
  I do believe that blindness affects my sexuality. I am totally blind. As I have gotten older, I find myself more and more in need of touching, affection, and physical contact. I want to give and receive hugs; and there was a time that I never wanted to be hugged by a man, but now, I would be more open to that. I am happily married, and my wife and I have a very loving relationship. This topic of sexuality and blindness is not often discussed--perhaps for obvious reasons--but I would very much like to explore it openly with people of both genders.
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by sc on 06/20/2004
  
  To me, as a sighted gay man, this is a fascinating subject that has not even begun to be explored by the medical or psychiatric community. The fact that there are homosexually oriented people who have been blind since birth flies in the face of most, if not all, of the
  "ex-gay" movements which tout that being gay is a visual learned experience. I would love to hear more on this subject.
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by sc on 07/02/2004
  
  I am not a psychologist or any other type of medical professional, this is just a thought that I have pondered over the years. That there are blind gay people in this world flies in the face of many of the arguments concerning homosexuality being a "learned" behavior. Many of those arguments are based sight. And, I do wonder what makes someone attractive to a visually impaired person. I assume that it is a combination of words, voice and touch. How does a blind person even know who is touching them? How does the touch of a male feel any different from that of a female? In a dark room, I certainly could not tell the difference between the two.
  
  
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by paul1972 on 08/18/2004
  
  While visual stimulus is one way that many sighted people experience sexual desire - there are other senses which also play important roles. As a gay man, I find that a person's smell is an important factor in whether I find them attractive. Also the sound of a man's voice - deep and masculine is a big turn on. In addition, the touch of a man's body - hairy and/or muscled is also a stimulus. In addition to that - people are attractive because of who they are as well as how they look. A person's attitudes, personality and interests all contribute towards whether we find them attractive or not. There is an excellent essay by a blind gay man at the website http://www.chanton.com/blindandgay.html. This is well worth reading for anyone who wants to understand what it is like to be blind and gay.
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by I_luv_Andrea on 09/13/2005
  
  I have 2 questions:
  1). These responses are very old. Does anyone even CHECK these message boards these days?
  2). Does the AFB and other organizations for the blind tell the blind folks to try and date/marry/stick with other blind folks?
  3rd question:
  
  If a blind heterosexual man was to want to date a sighted
  female,...where would he go to find one?
  
  Thanks.
  
  Juls
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by herbz75 on 09/22/2005
  
  if anything i think being blind as made me more kinkier and more intense as you touch a lot more now and being blind and sex for me i would have to say it is better more deeper feeling your way around a body you get to know everywhere
  
  

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  ISO of a blind gay man
  Posted by at1234ta on 04/26/2006
  
  I am a gay man, I am not blind but always wanted to meet a blind gay man to be my life mate. lf there are any sites where I can search for a blind mate please let me know. My email: tanlikesuntan@yahoo.com
  Thank you,
  Tan.
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by sarahy on 10/31/2006
  
  Hi. I'm a radio producer producing a piece about sexuality and blindness. I'd really like to interview anyone who would be willing to talk. I'm really interested in talking about how much of sexual attraction and desire is NOT visual. Also, do the same stereotypical standards of beauty apply? are thin bodies still considered more "desirable?" does smell play a really important role? what about voices?
  
  ANyway, if you're interested in being interviewed please contact me at
  sarahyahm@gmail.com
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by nicci on 12/27/2006
  
  for me i think it is a little better dating a blind guy then someone who can see. they are able to get a person to see themselves from all angles. even sexually. they can touch the person who they are have sex with and beable to do things better. i know this wont make sense to anybody. i know what i am thinking. well i am going to go bye
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by Lovesbooksals on 02/25/2008
  
  Interesting...lots of topics I hadn't expected when researching sexuality and the blind. I am the parent of a vision impaired son who is getting ready to graduate from high school. As he says, "Chicks don't dig the blind guy..." I am looking for information on how to let his relationships with the other sex happen naturally--or as least as "naturally" they can be within his world setting. I am looking for materials, research and advice on how to prepare him for the real world and college when he hasn't even held hands or taken a girl to the movies yet...
  
  
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by julialily on 03/08/2008
  
  I know a site BiLoves, a Web site for bisexual and bicurious looking to explore their sexuality. You can make many friends here, meanwhile, I believe many ppl there need your help.
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by rayoneill on 05/23/2008
  
  Hi,
  My name is Ray O' Neill and I am researching sexuality and the blind here at the Access Office here at Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland. I saw your postings, and though some of the postings are from a while back I wondered if anyone you had any luck, advice or information on sexual identities of people who cannot see. Or if anyone was in touch with you regarding any
  information about how those blind from birth determine their sexual orientation. If you do happen to have any links/advice or help, please let me know at this email
  address.
  
  Thanks Ray
  
  Ray O' Neill
  Educational Guidance Tutor
  Trinity Access Programmes
  Goldsmith Hall
  Trinity College
  
  01 8963345
  oneillr@tcd.ie
  www.tcd.ie/Trinity_Access
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by txrookie on 08/12/2008
  
  08/12/08 I hope to generate a new round of duscussion. I recently met a visuaslly impaired gay man who posed an interesting question; which I volunteered to research for him. Does anyone know why or know of studies/testimony of gay men that after becoming blind turn from being givers to being receptive?
  
  Thanks for any comments
  Richard at txrookie37@aol.com
  
  Thanks all
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by tuna on 12/22/2008
  
  hello all
  
  since i was young, my only sexual wish has been to make love to a totally blind man. i am a sighted heterosexual female. if any blind man is interested to chat or exchange e-mails with me, he is most welcome. ii would love to make new friends. blind women or gay blind men can also take up this offer. i look forward to know their world from their perspective.
  
  my e-mail is : rijulad@yahoo.com
  
  love
  
  tuna
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by izbest on 02/03/2009
  
  I am a heterosexual visually impaired Male, I have never seen a ugly person, until they got close to me, much like having beer goggles permanently attached to one’s face.
  
  They’re are many questions that I would be unable to answer, the urban legend that a blind person is better in bed due to higher sensory perception is purely to the individual personal talents, however the blind and visually impaired individuals may display more enthusiasm and desire to please then the sighted so as to over come the perception of being perceived week from they’re disability, the selfless attitude towards the partners happiness is perceived more desirable then a selfish one, and in turn perceived to be better in bed, this scenario would be completely dependent of the individuals life experiences, but with the increased sense of hearing, and the individuals ability to listen to cues from a partner, such as breathing rate, heart rate, the micro twitching of the involuntary muscle spasm, may prove this urban legend true.
  
  I have great difficulty meeting new people, you have to see a person before you can greet the person.
  
  All people judge the physical attractiveness of a person, it is the measuring stick of how healthy a person is mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, of every aspect of a persons life, I would hazard to guess the blind and visually impaired are no different, however I believe they see attractiveness in a different perspective, the question about attractiveness is a complex, and very much a individual thing, but I will mention one aspect, in the all American dream holly wood has created, the man is to bring home the bacon, provide for the family, the blind man is at a disadvantage in the modern world of climbing the corporate ladder, there are many obvious reasons for this, ever seen a blind man be issued a drivers licence, a mandatory requirement to climb the corporate ladder is the mobility that can only come from having a drivers licence, the opportunities passed by because of the lack of minimum requirements in a visually obsessed world, in turn effects the attractiveness of a man because of the lack of success, creating a perception of weakness, the whole cycle perception = attractiveness leads to attractiveness = perception is rubbish, the sighted world needs to get off they’re high horse and stop being so ignorant and pig-headed.
  
  These are just my opinions, one person in a sea of people, I do not assume my opinions reflect. that of the majority of blind and visually impaired, but rather from my own personal experiences.
  
  The greatest obstacles to the blind and visually impaired, are the perceptions the sighted world have, changing perceptions, one perception at a time.
  
  Aniridia Changing Perception
  http://www.aniridiachangingperception.com
  
  Sincerely,
  David Best
  
  
  

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  Re:sexuality and the blind
  Posted by izbest on 08/12/2009
  
  My last post was made as a statement, but what I should have posted was a question, one of the questions I have been asked is, am I concerned of passing the genetics of blindness to my children, there is a huge gap between the sighted and the blind regarding perceptions of what it is to live with blindness, I so much want to bridge the gap so my children do not have to through what I did, I currently do not have any children, but would like some of my own one day..
  
  I think sexuality is a good topic, I apologize if my last post made me appear as a know it all, I most certainly do not know everything about blindness, as I lose more and more of my sight the greater my desire to find a companion, I am a straight male seeking a straight female, and my question is what coping strategies and / or solutionw did you use to find your loved one?
  
  David Best
  aniridia_changing_perception@hotmail.com
  
  
  

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