my boyfriend is trying REALLLYYY hard...

Posted by emilybrown on 7/3/2007 at 4:59 PM

i've always had vision problems, but in the last two years they have gotten bad...i'm legally blind but i still have SOME useful vision. not much, but i can usually get around by myself if i know where i am. i've been dating a man for about a year that tries way to hard to "help" me.
examples:
1)not wanting to go to movies because he thinks i'll get upset when i cant see them
2)telling me every single thing thats on the side of the road when he's driving. and i mean EVERY SINGLE THING. it gets to the point where we can't even have a conversation. i've told him politely that it's not necessary but he keeps doing it.
3) telling me to go to a therapist because i'm not "coping" well with my vision loss. i mean, i have a few bad days where i'm kind of upset, but doesn't everyone?

to the point now, i'm just wondering what i could possibly do to tell him to lay off in the nicest way possible?
any advice?
if you've gone through this kind of problem, i'd really love it if you'd tell me how to not offend him.

thank you so much!

There are currently 5 replies

Re:my boyfriend is trying REALLLYYY hard...

just tell your boyfriend you want to go movies and places before your eyesight gets worse. I want you to enjoy you life do things that make you happy.tell him to no need telling you everything on road your not totally blind and you can still see. I know I have bads days with my eyesight too but that is ok. carolhuebner@mail.com

Re:my boyfriend is trying REALLLYYY hard...

Hi......... I just started to date a wonderful woman who has been blind since birth. I have no experience with the blind.In the few weeks that I've known her. I started to be " over protective".... I want to be her " eyes"... I have to remember that she lived well before me coming into her life. She has a great job and a great companion in her guide dog
" Rockette"........ She does more and does it very well than other sighted people..........

The point is , that I have to learn how to deal...... She deals very well, so we came to an undersaanding that She will allow me to grow into our relationship.... making some well intentioned mistakes along the way and she will let me know if I am coming off as being too over protective.....

When we go for a walk to a new area, she appreaciates me telling her when we come up on a curb or a rough patch , but mostly she'll hold my arm and be aware of my steps... I have to say........ Let your boyfriend grow... But let him know what works and what could be handled in another way... Go to the movies....... Think of a baseball game on the radio...... Listening can be just as good as seeing!!!!

Good luck to us both... Always remember... Love conquers all!!.....Jay

Re:my boyfriend is trying REALLLYYY hard...

Theres alot to be said for communicaton. You both need to communicate your needs and desires. There will be people that will over help such as grabbing your arm and pulling you along just gently remove your arm and let them know the correct way to help. Such as writting or anything else that we need.
Maybe suggest he come to this web site and read some of it and that might help him a little
Dont fret we all have our bad days as I call them. Thats ok

Re:my boyfriend is trying REALLLYYY hard...

thank you so much! I've started to let him see that I can do more on my own now... he's starting to let me be more independent. he said that he just wanted to protect me and if anyone even looked at me funny he'd get over protective and glare back. sure, sometimes we look funny when we're walking around places, so people will stare. he's learning to deal with it.

thank you again, and good luck to you all!

Re: my boyfriend is trying REALLLYYY hard...

A lot of movie theatres have descriptive audio headsets for the blind.
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www.theblind.us/
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