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for the Blind

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Wife can't handle my blindness any more

So I'm 36, married, and a father. My wife of 10 years and I have been having issues. One of the big hang ups is she feels she can't have the career she wants because I have Usher Syndrome. She also is tired of the responsibility of driving and she doesn't want the burden of me later in life. I've been doing more to take care of the other issues, and to take cabs more often and reassure her that I can take care of myself. Other than that, what can I do? I love her beyond reckoning and don't want to lose her.

There are currently 5 replies


Re: Wife can't handle my blindness any more



I am sorry for the pain you are obviously feeling. It sounds to me that your wife may be afraid and intimidated by the responsibility she is feeling in your relationship. I had normal vision (and no clue I would ever be otherwise) when I met my husband. Now I am dealing with low vision and the prognosis of an unknown amount of continued deterioration. My husband and I have had our struggles. He worries about what I would do should something happen to him. Perhaps your wife needs to know that you can take care of yourself. And she probably would like to feel that you can take care of her in some ways also. I wish you the best as you work through this with her. Remember often the thing you fight about is not the real (or only) issue.


Re: Wife can't handle my blindness any more



My lisence was revoked by the State due to Fuch's corneal dystrophy. cataracts off didn't help as other issues.I 'm the amputee cut of 4 fingers and thumb on dominant hand. So my husband and kids have to drag me every where and I'm as agraviated and maybe more so.I'm the one who worries what is going tio happen to me as My optic nerve is causing blindness.I was the handyman now no one does it and I can't.As my many health issues increase what will happen to me. I will be married 24 years on July 22 nd.


Re: Wife can't handle my blindness any more



Im sorry. My ex Doug in NY is the same way.

Donald The Blind Webmaster
The US Blind Resource Directory
http://www.theblind.us/


Re: Wife can't handle my blindness any more



I understand your frustration, I am rapidly losing my sight to Corneal Fuch's as well. 6 months ago I was told I know have cataracts as well. My husband is a truck driver and is constantly worried about me being alone. I no longer am able to drive and have no friends or family living in this state. I tell hime that I can do anything I was able to do before except drive. I organized my house so that I know where everything is at all times, and have devised ways to identify clothing articles as they come out of the wash so that I can do my own laundry and pick clothes that match. I still cook full meals with no problem because I started working in the kitchen while blindfolded way before my vision got so bad. I am in college and excelling in my classes and i intend to be a teacher for visually impaired students. My advise is to not look at vision loss as an obstacle and start looking at it as a challenge. Challenge yourself to complete tasks and show your wife that you can still take care of yourself and even do those nice little things to let her know she is important to you as well. Another thing you should do is talk to a specialist and see if you are a candidate for a transplant. That is the one known cure for this disease, if you can get it, take it, it may not fix your vision but it will stop the progression and save the vision you still have.


Re: Wife can't handle my blindness any more



I'm a 30 year old, my husband is 34 with rp. His decreasing vision has caused a huge gap in our relationship also. He stopped driving 5 years ago, and refuses to use the cane. Prior we both were very independent people. He is having a hard time coming to terms that he is no longer able to do every thing on his own. I have a hard time too being the only driver, but also we fell in love doing sighted things.. Playing caught, looking at art, riding bikes. As his vision got worse I kept going full speed and he was forced to slow down. We r just realizing that we never stopped to learn how to be a couple without sight. I love him very much but he is very anger about losing his sight and that too is causing a gap between us because he has become in overall angry person. What can I do to b more supportive? He won't do counseling. I want him happy and couldn't imagine losing my sight.


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