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AFBAmerican Foundation®
for the Blind

Expanding possibilities for people with vision loss

Need some advice from other blind people who dated blind people

Is it wrong of me to feel that I don't want to be with someone because he is way too dependent on me and others? We are both blind so i'm not talking smack about the blind but I am a university student who has been living on my own for years and who has always taken care of myself and others. Well is it wrong to feel like I don't want to play mommy to someone who is 23 years old? I don't know if I'm being unfair or what? Has anyone encountered this type of situation before with a significant other?

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Re:Need some advice from other blind people who dated blind people



I'm glad to hear dat keep doin what cha do


Re:Need some advice from other blind people who dated blind people



Thanks y'all for your posts. I moved on and moved on very well may i add.
Keep talking.
Mimi


Re:Need some advice from other blind people who dated blind people



Hey, Szabolcs, you have a guide dog? What is it like? I am trying to get a dog right now.


Re:Need some advice from other blind people who dated blind people



Well I'm a blind 17 year old female and I've never dated a blind guy before, I mean its nothing wrong wit it if I met a blind guy that I liked I would give him a chance. Well let me get to the point and say that if yall been together for a minute and thang ain't doin nothin but gettin worse dan yall gotta you know move on. Nice I could put a word in.
Ya girl Red.


Re:Need some advice from other blind people who dated blind people



Hey all!
It is a difficult situation.
For many years
untill I was 19 old, could do onlly a few things alone.
Till that time my mother helped me, but she died, and I had to change many things in my life. After it I got a guide dog, and started to study law. The world came closer to me day by day. I am sure, that if at that time if I dated an other blind girl, maybe she would think, that what can we do to gether because this guy can not cook, can not do many things.
But one of the most wonderfull thing is in human beings, that we can change. In a few years learned with my dog many wais to go, do the shopping, some times help other blind people, and however I can not cook if I am with a girl I help her what ever I do.
So if a guy is motivated well, if we see, that when we change because of a girl, that girl will belong to us.
So just a date is onlly a date, I mean it depends on many things if it will turn to love, or not.
Or if he does not want to change, you may tell him, look, if you do not learn some things to do alone, it will be difficult to find a girl for you.
Maybe I have a bit other situations, I do not live in the USA, but in Europe, and we have other possibilities here.
So hope not disturbed you by writing my thinkings, my summary is, that let you know this boy a bit better, and if you think he is able to change, give him the way, the right suggestions.
Have a nice Sunday

Szabolcs


Re:Need some advice from other blind people who dated blind people



I don't think you are wrong for feeling that way. In fact that is how I would feel, but you have to let yourself be ok with your own emotions and not try to annaylize everything because that will bring you down emotionally. What you are feeling is a sense of empowerment and a reassurance of your values and who you want to date. If you want someone who can take care of themselves then seek that type.

I once briefly dated a girl who was blind and had a few other conditions. She was very dependent. She only went between her house and her classes, had other people do the grocery shopping, didn't take the bus or any other mode of transit anywhere, and relied on rides and sighted guides. She basically just used a microwave to cook. She hadn't been fully adjusted to her blindness, or visual impairement fully, and was still learning. She had people take notes and help her in classes other than using her laptop etc to take notes.

It was not enjoyable for me, and I knew it wasn't going to work out. So I broke it off. She was ok otherwise, but I'll use this example of how I felt. I felt like she was like a hundred feet off the base of a mountain, and I was 500 feet up the mountain. I couldn't deal with that and was ok with it and felt much like you do.

So what you're feeling is normal, just take deep breaths and think through it.

Good luck,

Aiming Big


Re:Need some advice from other blind people who dated blind people



The hard part for me is that I am so close to him, five years we were best friends and we dated for one of those years. It's sad too cuz I got close to his family and they want me to come out and visit soon but I don't know if that is a wise choice.


Re:Need some advice from other blind people who dated blind people



I have the same problem. I dated a blind guy who was so dependent that my mom didn't want to take him anywhere with me because he needed too much help. And that is a problem because he wa 6 feet tall. One time, I took him to Knott's Berry Farm, and he almost knocked my mom down the steps. I broke with him because all he ever does is get drunk and hig. But it is not wrong to have feelings about dating sombody because he or she it to dependent. You should just try it, and see how it goes. Hope I helped.


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