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It's
4 a.m. and you wake up with a start.
You've
only gotten to bed a couple of hours ago after a long day, but you
can't sleep. You're a wreck because your father insists on staying
in his home despite his severe glaucoma. He manages well enough in
the daytime but you're worried about him being alone all night. Will
he fall on the way to the bathroom? Oh, and did you forget to stock
the fridge for him?
Maybe
you should get up and go over there … but you've got to drive
the kids to daycare in a little while and you have to get ready for
work after that. And you just can't ask your husband to take off
another day from his job to help out. He's already taken three days
off this month.
Scenarios
like this are familiar to anyone caring for
an older relative with vision loss. The demands on your time—not
to mention your physical and mental health—are considerable,
especially in the early stages of adjustment.
Even
though you feel overwhelmed, don't forget about the one other person
you are responsible for … yourself. Set aside time in your
life to relax and enjoy something that brings you satisfaction—a
hobby, a movie, a long bath. If it seems impossible, keep these
points in mind:
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Don't
overburden yourself needlessly. The whole point of assisting
relatives with vision loss is to enable them to maintain their
independence, not to "take over" their lives. Many of the
tasks you feel you need to do are things that your loved
either can manage themselves or will manage with time.
- Ask
your relative for help when you need it. If you're too
busy to make dinner or finish that load of laundry, your relative can
pitch in. Or maybe they can watch the kids for an hour or two so you
can catch a break. Mom or dad will probably welcome such
opportunities to assist the family.
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You
are not alone. Everything you're going through has been
experienced by thousands of other people just like you. Take
advantage of caregiver support groups and organizations (see the For
More Information section below). In addition to offering
moral support, many of these groups provide recreation suggestions,
health advice, and great tips for managing your time.
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Your
health is paramount. Yes, people are depending on you—but
you can't be there for them if you are exhausted. Take care of
yourself.
For More Information:
- The
Family Caregiver Alliance. FCA was the first community-based
nonprofit organization in the country to address the needs of
families and friends providing long-term care at home. FCA now
offers programs at national, state, and local levels to support and
sustain caregivers, and has an online family support group.
- The
National Family Caregivers Association. The NFCA provides support and
information for caregivers of all types, and has a tips sections for
dealing with a variety of issues.
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My family is my biggest support.
