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AFBAmerican Foundation®
for the Blind

Expanding possibilities for people with vision loss

Fiancè issue

Hi my fiancè is blind she is great she is amazing her blindness never gets in the way of our relationship. However, her retired guidedog does. I know guidedog are great and helpful, but, she treats her guidedog that's not even hers any more like he's more important than me. Can anyone help me with this? I've talked to her before and she says that I'm more important but I still don't feel that way.


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Re: your issue. not Fiancè issue



If none of these next thoughts help, please remember that humans live much much longer than dogs do so you will outlive your rival for her affections.
Let's take the blindness part out of the equation for a moment.
If you do get married and do have children, are you going to go into competition with them for her time and attention?
I doubt you are really asking her to love her dog less. It sounds as if you are asking her to love you more.
What you say is based on your assumption that your loved one has only a limited amount of love and attention to go around.
Basically, you are asking us to agree with you that your friend ought to change.
People don't get to change other people.
You get to change yourself by becoming a more secure person.
Either you love this woman enough to let her love other beings without feeling personally threatened or you do not.
You don't get to limit the amount of love another human being can give to other beings, just because you feel shortchanged.
It may be that, as you trust your friend more and more you will feel safer about getting the love you need rather than being jealous of an animal she cares about.
If you can open up as a person so that you grow to understand that all love is good, then you will find joy in her ability to love both of you and trust that she will have enough affection and caring to go around.
Can you give up resenting her giving love to another being for long enough to treasure her loving you and be safe in her love?


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