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AFBAmerican Foundation®
for the Blind

Expanding possibilities for people with vision loss

Intimacy and the blind

I'm a blind man in my 40's and have been recently divorced. How does a blind person like myself find a good mate that is goind to accept me as I am? Just womdered if anyone who is blind have the same problem or had a problem in find a good mate.

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Re:Intimacy and the blind



Hey I_Luv_Andrea,

To be quite honest it depends on the person that you meet. Yes there are some cruel blind men out there but there are also those of us that are not. I am not totally blind but kinda feel the same way you do but in regards to sighted ladies. I have had several relationships with sighted ladies and have found most to either be bigots, liars, cheats, gold diggers, etc. I know this is not the case for all sighted ladies, but this has been my luck through the past 9 relationships that I have had...

J


Re:Intimacy and the blind



To the woman in the last post;

Did anyone ever answer you? That whole thing with the rehab center is messed up. It is great that your husband gained some independence for himself (as well as for you), but I think that that rehab place has brainwashed him, and that he is confusing gaining confidence with abusiveness (that old 'you must submit because you are a woman thing'), as well as abandonment of you and his children, (which is a legal thing). I would research the center, then get a lawyer. Because abanonment of a family has VERY serious consequences when children are under-age.


Re:Intimacy and the blind



My husband first began losing his sight three years ago. His accident was six years ago. He has nerve damage and Parkinson's syndrome along with spinal injuries also. Three months ago he began a blindness mobility and braille rehab program in another state. This was difficult to be away from him for the first time in 23 years. Our relationship was already strained because I had worked 100 hours a week for 6 years to support him but I was happy to finally see him receive rehab training so that he could finally get a job and feel better about himself. Over the past three months he has begun to talk of his independence, not just in terms of mechanical mobility, braille and use of technology but he has begun to order me around saying he is in charge of everything now and that because he is blind, everything must accomodate him. He also states that he will be remaining at the Institute after training on a permanent basis to teach and that I have no say in this matter. He says he will "visit" me when he has time. I am devastated with this loss of companionship. I do blame the blind community in which he is entrenched for their prejudice towards me as a sighted spouse. I am told not to call him and am not permitted to visit.
HELP. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE ME--rejected and abandoned because you are sighted. We have two children ages 21 and 16. The 16 year old misses her father terribly. She is beginning to act out her anger is some frightening ways and I am certainly not enjoying this forced single parenthood and threats of separation and divorce. What should I do? I feel this program is taking him away from me!
SIGHTED IN PHILLY


Re:Intimacy and the blind



If there are any blind or VI single men in the Dallas area, who aren't afraid of meeting a sighted female, let me know.

(I do have 'suspect' glaucoma ).

Blue_cool_color@Yahoo.com


Re:Intimacy and the blind



Hello,


I am a single 48 year old woman looking to meet a blind male to become friends with an possibly more. If you are interested in chating, email me at sherryn136@hotmail.com. Looking forward to talking with you. Sherry


Re:Intimacy and the blind



i am blind and have been leagualy bild since 94 2003 i got galacomia and it has got lot worse.my wife married me and i was told three years a go and one day i will be completely blind and she is still with me been married 5 years now and i marriage could be stronger it isnt the blindness it is the person she feel in love with that is what she tells me so hang in there you will find someone two


Re:Intimacy and the blind



PS

I feel that a visual Impairment in a man only adds a deeper dimension to a relationship.

J.


Re:Intimacy and the blind



Hi;

In answer to the man in this post, I can see, but I cannot understand why anyone would divorce a spouse over something that they cannot help, such as blindness. Abuse,...yes.
I have dated a couple of VI men and enjoyed being with them,..but also I have found that there are many very angry, cruel blind men out there too!
I dated one guy that I chose to find all sorts of things to do for him (like to engage his other senses),..so that it would add to our relationship.
Unfortunately, many women are callous when it comes to a blind man.
But there are those of us who aren't. And I,..for that matter, feel looked down upon, by blind men.

J.


Re:Intimacy and the blind



When love is concerned the one thing that I have learned that when you are not looking for it, it finds you, and if someone can not accept you for who you are (your strenghts and weaknesses and your flaws) then the person is not the right one for you.

The Most important thing to know is to not give up and to give it time.. My one teacher told me that "Patience is a Virtue" and that "good things come to those who wait".

Just take things slow and all will fall into the right place.

Hope that this has helped you take care and god bless.


Re:Intimacy and the blind



i have met the most wonderful man, he lost his eyesight in december of last year, from a gsw to the face accidental. this is still very new to him, i am scared that i cannot give him what he needs, and i am also scared that i cannot get what i need, but we both love each other and are willing to try , anyone out there with any ideas, and how i should pursue this wonderful relationship


Re:Intimacy and the blind



I agree with the previous answer - anyone who does not accept you because of your blindness is losing out on YOU. I think you have as much, if not more, than a 'regular' person. As far as intimacy goes, sight is not the only sense - smell, feel, hearing play such a role in intimate situations. Good luck to you - you will make some woman a very lucky lady!


Re:Intimacy and the blind



Fortunately, nothing about you has to change. Just be yourself. It doesn't matter if you are blind, deaf, or were born with purple hair. You are who you are, and regardless of any disability, there are people out there who will and will not accept you. But you have to remember for those that don't accept your blindness have a serious problem. It's not your problem at all, it is theirs. I feel sorry for those people and they are everywhere. There are many shades of blindness, and for those that have an issue with anyone because of a visual impairment, is more blind than you or I could ever be. Be honest and be yourself. GOOD LUCK!!!


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