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AFBAmerican Foundation®
for the Blind

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am a father and a husband of a blind young woman

well, I know that this sounds wierd. but it is somehow true, will explain how.
I met a young woman who captured my heart at the first sight, she is the sweetest person ever that I have met. she is my sweet candy, she is the love of my life. we got married and i never felt that her visual problems would make any differance to my feelings towards her. she seems really normal. yes, at first it was something new for me since I never lived with a blind person.
about calling myself somehow her father is because I love her so much and I care for her as if she were not only my beloved wife, but also my daughter! I feel happy when I make her happy.
I would love to know if someone can guide me to find a suitable job for her. she lives in New Jersey. also I would like to exchange experiances with people who are married to a blind person. thanks

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Re:am a father and a husband of a blind young woman

The psychologists officially call what you are writing about by names such as co-dependence. I agree with the previous posts. You will both hurt yourselves by such beliefs. You will disempower this woman if you make her dependent upon you when she can do things for herself. You are equals, both adults and not father and child. Support her and love her as your partner and learn to trust each other as the creative and personlly powerful individuals you can both be. Good luck!

Re:am a father and a husband of a blind young woman

I have to agree. If my husband ever refered to me in that way, ever, I'd be extremely hurt. I'd begin to wonder if he thought of me as some one he had to babysit as aposed to being his wife, his partner and his life time friend. I don't think there is anything wrong with her asking you for help finding work. Everyone is intitled to a support system. But that's all you should be.

Re:am a father and a husband of a blind young woman

Hello. I am very troubled by the wording of your message. While I am glad that you feel such love for your wife she is not your daughter and, as a blind person myself, I am very troubled that you regard yourself as the father of this woman. You are not her father; by marrying her you agreed to be her husband. My wife loves me very much but she does not regard me as her son and would never refer to herself as my mother on a mailing list. I think that you need to focus on being the best husband you can be for her and forget this notion of being her father.

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