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Going Through a Divorce...Not Sure How To Continue Forward...

Hello, everyone.

I will not get into the details here in a public forum (I would be glad [and very thankful] to talk with someone privately, though), but I am currently going through an unfortuante divorce. the result of this divorce has been that I am now a single, blind father of two precious little boys. I have no issues with being a functional parent to the boys. I have been caring for them alone now for over six months.

Emotionally, each day can sometimes be a struggle (both for myself and for the children). I want to provide more for my boys, but I have no idea how to proceed right now.

I am an honors graduate from a local college, but it seems as though my degree does not mean much to emp0loyers. My degree was earned in the field of Computer Information Systems, but I have been thinking about and praying about going to school in order to pursue a different career path. It just seems as though, at least in my area of residence, it is a bit difficult for someone with is visually impaired to be taken seriously as a potential employee.

Honestly, I feel so lost. I never in my life would have wanted something like this to happen. I love the mother of my children, but she has repeatedly expressed that her feelings are not at all and never were mutual.

I guess I just really need some guidance and someone to talk to who may be able to relate. I have no problem with living alone and taking care of the children, but I just am so unsure as to how to proceed forward...

Whoever may be reading this, thank you for taking the time to do so.


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Re: Going Through a Divorce...Not Sure How To Continue Forward...



Many months after your initial post, but I thought I'd share that I too have recently gone through a divorce and am the mother of a little boy. While my son's father and I have shared custody and it has been quite amicable, it can be really hard at times. I have a visual impairment and do not drive as a result. This creates probably the biggest difference between what my son's life is when he is with his father vs. when he is with me. His father drives him around to tons of activities, drives him to and from school, etc. We, on the other hand, take the bus and it is usually one activity and then home-- many activities in easy walking or bus-ridnig distance. Luckily, I have situated myself in a transit-rich, interesting community. Doing so affordably meant a much smaller home for me than his father has-- I live in a 2 bedroom condo whereas his father lives in a big single family home with a big yard. Sometimes it is hard that there are such big differences in our home environments. But, I think that having a visual impairment and having to really plan everything out and be really deliberate has helped me create a calmer, simpler, and in someways richer environment for my son to experience. My son loves being outside and being around other people, so he actually enjoys our walks together and taking the bus with me. Plus he gets a lot of exercise and is rarely bored. I guess what I am trying to say is that it's taken me time to learn that we are both good parents providing good homes to our child. Different is okay-- and is in many ways enriching actually.
In terms of getting over the emotional part of the divorce, I'm still on that joinery. I too was with someone who stopped loving me. He would have stayed with me forever because he is that kind of loyal person, but it didn't change the reality of the relationship. I concluded that I deserve to be with someone who loves me and that I would rather be single than to be with someone who doesn't love me. So, here I am starting over.
In terms of employment, I feel very fortunate to live in an urban area with a lot of jobs and to work in the disability field which is less likely to discriminate against me based on my impairment. But, it's still a very tough economy and the only way I've been successful is through networking-- not through applying for jobs without a connection.
I guess I've rambled on enough. I kind of wish there was a support group for single parents with disabilities. In some ways I found your note supportive because it shows me that there are other people out there like me.

Do take care of yourself, and best of luck to you on this journey!

-Penny


Re: Going Through a Divorce...Not Sure How To Continue Forward...



Well, the judge signed off on the divorce order this week...It is over, sadly...

One way or another, ti is time to move forward. I do not know if anyone is reading this thread, but if so, thank you for taking the time to do so.


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