Skip to Content

AFBAmerican Foundation®
for the Blind

Expanding possibilities for people with vision loss

Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...

Hi, I am mom to 16 year old twin girls, both legally blind. One of my daughters is having a lot of difficulty with making friends in high school and our community. She doesn't feel that she is fitting in and describes herself as very shy. Her sister on the other hand is more outgoing, but the "shy" one is holding her sister back from making friends, as she gets very upset when her sister even talks to someone else or if someone talks to her sister. There is much more to the story, but her behaviour is causing a lot of problems at school as well as at home. She is currently in counseling outside of school, as well as in school. I personally need support from anyone who may be going through similar difficulties. I also would like to see if there is anyone who may like to be penpals with my daughter. Aside from having family, she is feeling very alone in this big world.

There are currently 20 replies

Sort Replies Oldest to Newest


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



I understand how your daughter feels im 13 and legally blind but im happy for the froends I have I used to be lonely and feel like I dident fit in


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



HI, I AM DEANNA AND LEGALLY BLIND, I HAVE UNCONTROLABLE GLAUCOMA, HOLES IN BOTH MACULARS,PLUS IVE ALWAYS BEEN SEVERELY NEARSIGHTED. I FULLY UNDERSTAND THE REASON FOR DEPRESSION, I WAS EMBARRASS WITH MY EYESIGHT IN MY YOUNGER YRS, I THINK MY MOM MADE TOO MUCH OF A FUSS OVER ME, LOL, BUT,AT AGE 14 I GOT CONTACTS, WOW, I FINALLY FELT NORMAL, THEN IN MY FORTIES,CHANGES STARTED HAPPENING, IVE HAD SITON SURGURY IN BOTH EYES , PLUS A BUCKLE IN MY GOOD EYE, WHICH NOW IS MY BAD EYE.IHAD TO GIVE UP DRIVING, WELL , THERE WENT MY INDEPENDACE,THAT WAS VERY HARD, MY READING SUFFERED, SEEM LIKE EVERYTHING CHANGED, IM LUCKY TO HAVE A HUSBAND WHO DON T MIND HAULING ME AROUND, I HATE WAITING ON PEOPLE,AND I FEEL LIKE THAT IS ALL I DO, IT IS SO FRUSTRATING, BUT THANKS TO MY PEBBLES,MINI MICROSCOPE AND ACROBAT LCD HAS REALLY IHELPED ME READ, MY ADVICE IS, DON T STOP TRYING TO DO NORMAL THINGS THERE IS HELP OUT THERE FOR THE BLIND IMPAIR, U JUST HAVE TO DO SOME RESERCH. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE, IFEEL YOUR PAIN


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



HI, I AM DEANNA AND LEGALLY BLIND, I HAVE UNCONTROLABLE GLAUCOMA, HOLES IN BOTH MACULARS,PLUS IVE ALWAYS BEEN SEVERELY NEARSIGHTED. I FULLY UNDERSTAND THE REASON FOR DEPRESSION, I WAS EMBARRASS WITH MY EYESIGHT IN MY YOUNGER YRS, I THINK MY MOM MADE TOO MUCH OF A FUSS OVER ME, LOL, BUT,AT AGE 14 I GOT CONTACTS, WOW, I FINALLY FELT NORMAL, THEN IN MY FORTIES,CHANGES STARTED HAPPENING, IVE HAD SITON SURGURY IN BOTH EYES , PLUS A BUCKLE IN MY GOOD EYE, WHICH NOW IS MY BAD EYE.IHAD TO GIVE UP DRIVING, WELL , THERE WENT MY INDEPENDACE,THAT WAS VERY HARD, MY READING SUFFERED, SEEM LIKE EVERYTHING CHANGED, IM LUCKY TO HAVE A HUSBAND WHO DON T MIND HAULING ME AROUND, I HATE WAITING ON PEOPLE,AND I FEEL LIKE THAT IS ALL I DO, IT IS SO FRUSTRATING, BUT THANKS TO MY PEBBLES,MINI MICROSCOPE AND ACROBAT LCD HAS REALLY IHELPED ME READ, MY ADVICE IS, DON T STOP TRYING TO DO NORMAL THINGS THERE IS HELP OUT THERE FOR THE BLIND IMPAIR, U JUST HAVE TO DO SOME RESERCH. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE, IFEEL YOUR PAIN


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



Hi, my name is Nathan, and I have been totally blind since birth. Currently, i am enrolled in a public high school as a Junior, but it feels as if this year has been extremely difficult. One fact with which I have the pleasure of contending with is other teenagers around me, those who have vision, are receiving their driver's licenses,leading to the insurmountable emotion of feeling left out in all aspects of "teen life". Throughout the current year, I have become incredibly depressed, not wanting to attend school at various times of the year. Sometimes, it was so difficult that I had trouble getting out of the bed, having regular conversations with family members, and so on. I know what depression is, how it can affect you in both positive and negative ways, and what the best methods are of contending with it. It probably feels as if you are exasperating each option with no answers, but there is assistance that you could consider such as NFB. Through this organization, your daughter can have the pleasure of meeting new acquaintances, with whom she will hopefully stay connected with her entire life. I really enjoy programs such as the Youth Slam, which is a gathering of Blind students throughout the country to spend a week at a University to learn about various topics that pertain to specific interests. Also, through this organization, you can discover special opportunities that exist such as camps. I would certainly enjoy having a friend to converse with, even if the conversation does not focus upon depression. I even was enrolled in an institution for depression, because I would not attend school on a regular basis. Yeah, that is a pretty stupid decision, but now, I have been placed on homebound and love it!!! I really want to get enrolled in a residential school because I think this will assist me in achieving the independence I need!
Nathan. Email is ludwig92@verizon.net Many of the times that i did not want to attend school was because teachers never provided me with the appropriate resources that I needed such as Powerpoint notes. I hate public school and was forced into it by my Mom at an early age. An idea, which has evolved from reflecting on my own life, is establishing a school for blind, visually impaired, and other disabled students that can have the pleasure of obtaining assistance in Braille, having representatives throughout the United States to deliver instruction in subjects normally offered in public school, but still have the benefit of remaining stress-free. If anybody enjoys this idea, I would really like support. I believe that I would be much more intelligent if I was homeschooled, rather than attending public school. I can explain more later, because my writing could continue perpetually.


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



Hello
I know exactly how you feel -
I also have a 15 year old son who is legally blind and does not socialize much .... Also, the normal rite of passage for teens - driving is coming up .... I need to find groups where he feels he would fit in but am having problems - Any input would be helpful


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



My 20 year old daughter has been legally blind since birth.
I best I could do was to have a person come to thouse weekly and practice social skills. Practice telling someone you have just met that you do not see well is tough.
Bring you daughter to activities that she likes that do and she will meet people with the same interest and become friends.
Fully sighted people have lack of friends also, vision doesn't make friendships.
My daughter never had luch at school, she always opted for a class instead. The socialization was too difficult, but this is true for many teens.
At this time my daughter is a successful college student who has traveled to Europe and around the US independently. Your daughter can do the same.
Alicia


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



My daughter became legally blind when she was 18. Having partial site can be very very depressing. But, my daughter and I are working through it. Many times we think we have it licked and then it hits us in the face again.

I have a good idea for the girls if you would like to email me hsvdiane@yahoo.com This is the biggest one thing that helped my daughter through all of this.

Diane Miller


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN ALMOST FIVE YEARS AGO AND THEY TOLD US THAT SHE HAS LCACPD. I AM SCARED BECAUSE SHE STARTS SCHOOL IN THE FALL. THERE IS NO TEACHER THAT CAN TEACH HER AND I AM ALSO VERY SCARED THAT SHE WILL HAVE A BAD TEMPER TOWARDS THE OTHER KIDS OR THE TEACHERS BECAUSE AT HOME SHE ACTS LIKE SHE IS THE QUEEN OF THE HOUSE AND TELLS EVERYBODY WHAT TO DO SO I NOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROW I AM ALSO WONDERING IF ANYBODY NOWS HOW TO GET THEM TO SLEEP AT A NORMAL TIME BECAUSE SHE LIKES TO STAY UP UNTIL 4 OR 5 IN THE MORNING AND I HAVE FOUR BOYS THAT ARE IN SCHOOL FULL TIME AND I FEEL THAT ALL I CAN DO WHILE THEY ARE IN SCHOOL IS SLEEP SO IF ANYBODY NOWS PLEASE LET ME NOW. THANKS


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



HI,
I totally understand as a mom of a legally blind daughter what you are going through. My daughter Hayley is legally blind and is a fireball!!! Hayley's only struggles come from the ignorant people in the world who are too superficial to take five minutes to understand someone's world with a disbabilty. Iam teaching Hayley that there are sighted people who are no better than she and that God does not make anyone person in this world perfect. The only reason she would feel depressed is because stupid people make her feel that way. I process criminals and arrestees everyday and watch people throw their lives down a toilet because they choose to. Just because someone has a small setback doesnt mean they cant achieve great things. Hayley just has a unique way of living and I teach her its not a tragedy. People also need to teach their children not to be so materialistic and to view others as people not objects. Kids spend way too much time in front of televisions and video games and arent talking enough about life. That is mosly due to lazy parenting. We all know when your child is visually impaired there is no room for laziness. Whatever the handicapp is, no person is any less of a human being. Its all in the way we teach our kids to percieve life.


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



I'm a 23 year old man who is legally blind and although I am educated, employed, and living independently I constantly struggle with depression, frustration, and loneliness. I have been searching for ways to connect with others who share my same hardships, but to be quite candid it is difficult, because I feel that people like us are seen as nothing more than burdens by the sighted world. You all might find this view to be jaded and cynical, but there it is. They have no conception of what we go through, and don't care. And who even says anyone should? We all know this is a cruel, unforgiving world, and to expect less would be an exercise in self deception.

So yea I have no idea where I'm going with this but if anyone here wants to talk about anything with someone who understands how hard things can be my email is scott_dixon06@comcast.net.


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



Hi If your girls would like a penpal, just write at
annamarip1@freemail.hu, and i will help her. Well when i was younger, i try to realise a different feeling, that your girl.


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



My daughter is 22yrs of age she has Lebers Congenital Amaurosis.I can certainly sympathize with you. My daughter also has no friends and has almost no social life. She spend most of her time in her room on her computer and sleep in a lot. She has not found a job yet since she completed school at 21yrs. She was unable to complete her highschool leaving. The only outings she has is with me so she is very used to being with adults my age. She has become very controlling and angry and depressed. She has lost that beautiful laughter she had when she was younger. It gets more difficult as they get older. We argue all the time and she has taken away my Husband's and my freedom because of her controlling manners and insecurities. She is also seeing a psychologist. My suggestion to you is to get her perhaps in a residential school for the blind. There she will meet people that are experiences the same problems and difficulties and she will probably make friends there. The best way is to send them off it is the best way for them to become independent and it is the best thing for you.
If you need to talk please email me at poldes@gmail.com


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



there can have puppy friends which i can happily supply because i am also a twin but not blind my email is nalova81@yahoo.com i also treat blindnsee usind herbs


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



Hi, my name is Michelle. I am 26 years old and blind and have severe depression. I have some groups on yahoo if your daughter has access to the internet she could talk to people with the same problems. I don't find it easy to make friends iether. my email address is michelle_m19802003@yahoo.co.uk


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



depression is not easy i know i going tru depression im an older single man who dont have many friends myself. im not blind but like to get to know a blind lady as friends to maybe help her and me out of this depression stage. i sweat all the time and heart races from it. you can e mail me at bernard40@icqmail.com


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



Hi,

I am 14 years old, totally blind, and am about to graduate from eighth grade. I know exactly how it feels; it feels as though there is a social barrier between those who are sighted and those who are blind. I have been in many oquard social sitchuations with people who are sighted; what to talk about? How to cary on a conversation? The key is to try and bridge the social barrier in a nonthreatening (to the sighted students) way. In an attempt to bridge this barrier, I wrote an article for the school newspaper about people who are blind. I have to modify it for online publication (changing the names of interview subjects to protect there privacy etc.) but when I do I'll post a link to it here. Feel free to email me at AMTK93@sbcglobal.net .


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



Hello,
My name is Mike and I am a 20 year old college student who is totaly blind and have been since birth. I know what it was like growing up with just a handfull of friends and the strugles of finding new ones who didn't feel sorry for you or just ignored you completely. If you want to email me to see perhaps if my experiences could help feel free at fishm@canisius.edu. I hope things work out for your daughter.


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



I was also a shy kid (still am at 32, really.) I had ONE friend throughout school, so I can relate to the depression that can come from feeling invisible, and isolated in that way. How very nice that your daughter has a mother who is concerned enough to try to find some solutions!

I'm not sure what to suggest, other than perhaps to look for email lists for young people, blind or otherwise. What does she enjoy doing in her spare time? Perhaps a group pertaining to those things would be a good starting point. Does your daughter have access to the 'net? I find it has helped me to open up a bit, as everyone's on equal footing online. I know it's not quite the same as having friends nearby, at school, etc. but I've met some good friends by way of the internet over the last ten years, and I'm very glad for it. :)

You can email me if you like. I'd be happy to talk to you further... or to her, if you feel comfortable with that.
owf1892@softhome.net


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



Perhaps the following organizations could be of help.

National Association for Parents of Children with Visual Impairments (NAPVI)
• Membership Organization - Consumer
• National Organization

P.O. Box 317
Watertown, MA 02471
http://www.napvi.org
napvi@perkins.org

National Federation of the Blind (NFB)
• Membership Organization - Consumer
• National Organization
• National Publisher

1800 Johnson Street
Baltimore, MD 21230-4998
http://www.nfb.org
nfb@nfb.org

Phone #1: (410) 659-9314 (Local)
Phone #2: (410) 685-5653 (Fax)

Within this organization is a group called the National Organization for Parents of Blind Children.

These organizations are made up of parents who have the "real" experience you are looking for. I think you'll find them helpful.


Re:Legally blind 16 year old twin daughters - depression and difficulty finding friends...



Hi there,

I really feel for you and your daughter. I'm not really sure how I can help, but I have a 5 year old little boy who was born blind, so I can imagine how you are feeling as a parent, as I know how I would be feeling if it was my son who was having the same problem at that age. Infact, at school he is very popular, and has many friends, but at home it is quite different. He spends his time playing with his older sister, and his dad and myself.
I can't help but think he is missing out on friendships at home, but he is so happy all the time that it doesn't seem to bother him. not yet anyway.

I have an online parent support group if you would like to chat to other parents with VI children, or even chat to one of our VI members.

My email is debghope@hotmail.com, please feel free to contact me again, even if it's just to chat.

kindest regards
Debbie


Log in to Post a Reply