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for the Blind

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My sons "quirks" as a blind child

I am having difficulty right now with my 3 yr old son. He has these few "quirks" that he does and we do not want him doing them. We have been told that they are not uncommon for blind children to do them, but we would like them to come to a stop or atleast to a minimal so that he's not doing one or the other all the time. these are:
eye pressing the left eye with the back of his hand, shaking his head repeatedly, head lowering. these are done constantly we have tried giving him things to do, putting on new music, new toys. but it really just doesn't seem to be working if anyone could help this would br greatly appreciated.

signed,

Kimberly, a concerned Mom

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Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



I am the mother of a 8 year old blind child. He is very bright and has a great future ahead of him. From the start we did not allow him to have "blindisms".
We have corrected his behavior so that he would have socially acceptable body language. As he has gotten older we tell him what is acceptable body language and what is not. We have trained him to look to the voice when he is talking to people. Lots of people do not realize he is blind because of his socially acceptable body language. Correcting your child's blindisms is the most loving thing to do as a parent if you want them to be accepted in a sighted world. I would not want my son to be rocking back and forth at a job interview. Of course it would be harder to train a blind child who is not academically capable. But if your blind child is of normal intelligence, correct those blindisms. It would be easier to ignore them but that would be a disservice to your child. Good luck!


Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



hi new to the web site, but not new to the experience of raising a blind toddler. I have a baby boy whos almost four years old and my husband and I have been having different worries over the years. We found out when he was two weeks old and pretty much have worried since. Beginning with him learning how to suck a bottle, then sitting up, then clawing, so on and so on. It seemed like every milestone we worry about Now its potty training and feeding himself, that's what led me here. It just seems like we all have the same concerns and all we have to remeber is that were not alone, we're not the first parents to have these issues, and have patients. It just takes our children a little more time than sighted and in my experience, my son always does things on his owns terms and on his own time, no matter what my husband and I try. I'm just glad to know we're not alone.


Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



I have read most of the responses and i do not understand some people. the quirks and the head shaking is not the childs fault. My seven year old daughter recently made me aware that her teacher does not like her doing this and puts a bean bag on her head. The other children taunt her and now she does not want to do her braille. I can not believe I trusted her teacher and she has hurt my daughter. My little girl is now apologizing for being blind.


Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



have a 21, (20 still in diapers), and 5 year old who are all blind. They all do the self stimming (flapping the arms, lowering the head and spinning). The 5 year old is still eye pressing. The 21 and 20 year old have stopped eye pressing over time. They all do different things to prevent boredom. The 21 iis a pianist so she plays all day and is in the band at school. The 20 year is still swinging on the swing set. He is more delayed then my 5 year old. And the 5 year old plays in his room with his toys, loves to spin and wrestle with me. It's best to find out a routine that your child is comfortable with and stick to it. We to hope that the eye pressing will stop now, but realistically, it wont untill he is ready. There are many of us that have been your shoes. Be patient... You may email me if you wish...


2 year olds very odd mannerisms



Hi there

I have a two year old son (will be two and a half shortly) and he has some very odd mannerisms that are really concerning me. I am not worried about the eye pressing (we redirect that and it works well) but he does tend to spin on the ground and can go for quite a while unless redirected. Also he is not talking yet. He makes the sounds of words like "chicken" if there is chicken for dinner or says "leave your eyes" (he hears that all the time) but it's never consistent and besides that he tends to shout out babble quite loudly and gets a kick out of that. I was really worried about autism and had a few people evaluate him. They seem to think it's not autism. He is very affectionate and very in tune with us, will come over to us, find us in the house, climb into our laps, hug us etc and his receptive speech is very good in that he understands a great deal of what we say and will listen to us when we ask him to do things. But from the time he's up in the morning until he sleeps at night he's babbling and talking but also inbetween will shout out these things (it's very wearying).....Physically he's perfect, has great motor co-ords, climbs up anything and achieved all his milestones on time but the lack of speech, the need to spin and the shouting out is what really worries us. Any parents have similar experiences? Any ideas? HELP!! Lou


Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



hi
i have2 1\2year old blind daughter .she is doing all things that ur son is doing right noew..she always poks her eye very hard dr told us it's reflaction of light it's nothing but u need to get him redirect give somthing in his hand and for head shake and head down just tell him not do .involve him in every daily ativity take him outside do physical play like summerslat ,lap swinging ,spining,etc.mom is everything for them paly with hi m..i have quiostion .My daughter does'nt sleep through out the night she wake up after 3 and stay up till 6 alternate day is that normal.


Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



My son is almost 18 and it was tough at first dealing with his quirks, he has gotten better at controlling some of them over the years, we still constanly get on to him for poking his eyes and he rocks back and forth in his chair. His teachers try to stay on him for that. He does keep himself occupied by either listening to music or recording different sounds with a micro-cassette recorder. I don't know if he will ever fully stop these behaviors but I know everyone that meets him loves him and are fascinated by how well he gets around and does for himself. Hang in there!


Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



ok so i laughed a little at some of the replys.
im a mother of a teen who is blind.
my daughter use to push on her eyes we would use distractions as for the head tipping down she still does it some but not as much as before .fpr some one who cant see why would they keep there head up they have nothing to look at.some things they learn by instinct like smiling.others have to be taught.
as for the eye pushing they see flashes of light all kids have done it children who are blind do it cause hey its some thing they can see.
if a child is born blind they are not pushing on there eyes to make them work cause they dont have that concept ,cause they donnt now anything but being blind.
these things are all normal.
as for the 3 year old holding something that is normal for any child.
i hold my car keys in my hands most of the time.
being the parent of a child who happens to be blind is a wonderful heartache.
read and learn all you can from other parents and adults who are blind.
your not alone..........



Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



Hi, I just so happened onto this site, as I am looking for an attorney to help my now grown blind son to keep his daughter, who is 5. I was sympathetic, yet had to smile a bit in reading your concerns. My son, who, is now 27, was blind since age 22 months. He exhibited some of these tendencies when young and I, too, was concerned. The eye pressing is normal, and distraction is everything. The head shaking is normal, and I would only offer the same, that distraction helps. the lowering of the head should be pointed out, and I simply would lightly touch his chin whenever he dropped it, or lovingly rub the back of his neck. There is a natural tendency to be "at one" with the earth and equilibrium is entering the picture there, I do believe. My best advice however, is that telling your child about these things in a loving way, and reminding them with loving gestures (as mentioned above) can help. I only know my experience, but I can tell you gladly that my son does not do any of these now!!! ;0) God bless you all!


Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



My son is a visually impaired 3 year old. he dosen't do much self stemming but he has one trait that i wish he would get over quickly. He feels the need to have more than one of whatever object he currently has. he clutches them to his chest and very often has a 'death grip' on them. if he has only one object watch out world he will let you know. it dosen't matter what it is, give him a cookie and he wants two, give him two and he wants three. the only good thing that i have seen about it, is that he can count he knows when he's dropped one and how many is left after, he has great math skills. needless to say he dosen't have very good play skills he does attend a preschool and they just simply take away objects that he can easily clutch on the days that he is there. i'm not sure how effective that is, he can't go through life clutching things or not having them accessible to him. any comments or suggestions would help alot. thanks christine


Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



Hi kimberly, My son is shaking his head sometimes vigrously, and often lowers his head, but I haven't noticed eye pressing. My heart goes out to you and all parents with special children. Our ideas of parenthood are in need of revision and our pride must disappear. My child is all different than most, but he is a precious gift from God! I'm not sure that I can give you any advise but we could share our experiences. I have recently noticed that my childs face is asymmetrical, and I wonder if this is also contributing to his head shaking. Our appointment to see our neurologist isn't until Feburary of 2003, and for me this will be an eternity. I am glad that I found your message on the web, and I hope to hear from you. Carla


Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



Hi kimberly,


Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



What does your son do all day and what kind of activites is he involved in.He probably needs to be gradually taken away from this. For instance changing his daily activites and maybe rewarding him.


Re:My sons "quirks" as a blind child



Pressing on the eyes is a sign of a potential serious eye/visual disability. Have this checked out by an opthamolgist as soon as possible.


quirks



Your sons blindisms are natural but in a sighted world not very acceptable in some company. We all want our blind children to be accepted. You're on the right track I believe. Those behaviors are self-stimulating and it is my impression that the energy our children have must be expressed. Keeping busy with favored activities sure helps. It seems to be an individual struggle as what works with some will not necessarily work with Joey or Suzy. It's one of those challenges that really lets us know we're alive. Good luck.


Quirks



Hello, Kimberly,
I am a now blind former children's nurse. If your son is now 3 years old, perhaps he is trying to figure out 'why' his eyes don't seem to work He may be pressing against them to turn them 'on', or it may be that when he does this, he sees bright flashes. It sure aounds as if he is noticing something different in his world when he presses on his eyes.
Leaning forward towards a sound may be his way of focusing in on a new sound. Or it coulf be a balance problem. I know that when I was starting to rely on a cane, and had no vision, I would'lean' into a sound - it's sorta like squinting to see better.
Distraction techniques take a long time to become habits. I hope the problems are less obvious by now.
You have my utmost regard for your parenting techniques. Hang in there!
Laney


quirks



I do not have any information about your son's quirks, however, having a blind 2 yr old myself, I', curious as to how you are managing to keep your son from climbing over his crib rail.


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