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Are you a toxic person?

This is a very important question to ask yourself because, we always hear how to avoid toxic people through out our lives. We hear it from parents, teachers, co-workers, pastors, and even the celebrities we admire. What we are not taught, however, is how NOT to become a toxic person to everyone else.

You are probably thinking, “Heck, I know I am not a toxic person, because well, I’m just not!” One of the great things about being a human being is that, we are very good looking at other people’s flaws and mistakes. So good in fact, that we rarely take the time to look at ourselves and reflect our own flaws and mistakes.

So, the reason for this article is to discover if you are a toxic person and if so, what you can do about it. Let’s go over how being a negative influencer can effect you and the people around you. Here is a list of 5 characteristics that a toxic person has. It is up to you to self evaluate and determine if you have any of these 5 characteristics listed below.

Low Energy levels: Being a toxic person usually doesn’t do much except for complaining. You will not feel like doing anything constructive because you will think that no matter what you do, you will feel the same anyway. Aside from obligation and self interest, I don’t see any other reason why a toxic person would feel like doing anything.

Negative Nancy: If you are a toxic person, you probably complain a lot. Complainers never realize that they are complainers until someone points it out to them. What makes it worse, is that when someone confronts you about complaining too much, you will probably justify it with outside circumstances and have a victim mentality. People avoid you or keep the conversation short because, they just don’t want to hear your complaining anymore.

Poor social Skills: This is the one where people are oblivious to the most. A toxic person is unaware how they talk to people and how that make people feel. By being a toxic person who complains a lot, puts down every idea that comes your way, having short and bitter responses, will eventually make you a person with poor social skills. I saw this one quote once, where it said, “If you are on a first date and that person is on their best behavior in front you, but treats the waiter like shit. You just saw who they really are.”

Attracting other negative people: Studies show that you are the average of the five people you hang out with on a daily or weekly basis. Most likely, if you are a complainer, an un-active person, sit at home and binge on social media type, then those are likely your friends. Chances are, you probably hang out with them the most, because you guys feed off of each others energy and constant complaining. In short you are comfortable with each other and do not expect to be challenged by each other

You will have not any friends: The reality is no one wants to be with a toxic person! You may not conceder yourself an abusive person or you probably will never hit anybody, but have you ever heard of verbal abuse? Being a complainer, having poor social skills and being negative all the time to people around you, is considered verbal and psychological abuse. Couples have gotten divorced because of this, companies have fired people who complain to other co-workers at the job site, friends will stop or have stopped talking to you because of the abuse. You will be alone and no one will want to be with you; because without knowing, you are abusing the people who love and care about you

Now that we have an idea of what to look for, let's go over some ways on how we can fix being a toxic person or help someone who you think might be one.

Be grateful: Being grateful can help you tremendously because, it will put things in perspective and show you that things can be a lot worse. For example, be grateful for your health, your family, and even your own two hands that you can hold your cell phone with. Being grateful has a lot of power and that is why a lot of religions make this into a daily practice.
Read The Man search for Meaning by victor frankel: This is an amazing book. A book about a man who is a Jewish prisoner and tells his experience from a death camp for Jews. The reason why I chose this book for a toxic person is because, he chose not to be defeated inside himself while he was there. Even though they took everything away from him, they could never break his will and hope that he will get out soon of the concentration camp. Amazing book!!
Hang out with positive people: like I mentioned before and most likely till I die, you are the average of the 5 people you hang out with. If you are a toxic person, chances are, your social circle are people like you. So if you cant do it alone, then go out meet and mingle with people with great energy. They should not be hard to find because they are usually the life of the part, the popular one, the leader in the group etc. So start hanging out with positive people who want to do good in the world and help people.
Work out: I love working out and it annoys me when people say that I am a gym rat or I am obsessed. Honestly, those people are lazy. There is no other way of putting it. Aside from going to the gym to look good, it also produces endorphins which will help you feel happy and positive. Going for a brisk walk or even a mile run is great, just get the blood pumping and watch how great you will fee afterwards!
Use a journal: I know as humans we have the tendency to vent and let our feeling be known to other people. The reality is, the majority of the people don't care about your problems. On top that, they are also grateful that you are the one with those problems and not them! When I feel emotionally overwhelmed, I use my journal as my friend.

Granted its always important to talk to your friends and get some advice or council; and especially when you are having dark thoughts, but having a journal and writing out your day to day is not bad way to vent. No one gets hurt in the process and you will feel much better about it.

What I like about writing in my journal, is that when I read my entry’s weeks or months later; it almost seems that a completely different person made that entry other than me.

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Well, thank you guys for checking out the blog. I am very aware that you are super busy and have so many things pulling you in a 1000 different direction, however, thank you for taking the time and in reading or listing to the podcast.

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