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AFBAmerican Foundation®
for the Blind

Expanding possibilities for people with vision loss

Has anybody ever felt intimidated dating a sighted person?

Just curious, I have seen some previous post where people are looking for Low Vision or Blind people to date. Curious, why not people in your area, why not someone sighted, etc?

I am a male with low vision and for me, dating is just dating. I have had my fair share of rejections from women who didn't wan to to date me because I did't drive a care, oh well. At the end of the day its a numbers game.

Love to know your thoughts

Low Vision Guy

DeMarco


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Re: Has anybody ever felt intimidated dating a sighted person?



Hi all;

Not sure if this thread is still active or not, but
Wanted to address the guy who said women want
'Alpha' men. I think that depends on the woman.
I prefer a guy who is himself, who doesn't try to
be someone he's not.
I have dated both low vision and sighted men and
it is the guy that I'm interested in.
Jayden


Re: Has anybody ever felt intimidated dating a sighted person?



@ MeAsIAm
being normal isn't really an ability in my experience, it's a perception; usually someone else's. Your God-given gifts don't change simply because you don't have useful vision. I had both my eyes removed when I was six. Everyday someone told me I couldn't do something, my first reaction was "why not?" Second was to try and figure out a way to prove them wrong. Turns out, anything that I'm bad at, was because I was bad at it, nothing to do with being totally blind.
I wrestled from 3rd grade through college, I added sculling in college, and always competed against sighted people being a starter in both sports. I won most, lost some, again I lost because I wasn't as good as my opponent, nothing to do with blindness.
I was also in marching band carrying quads (drums) played kit in jazz band, and concert band where I played snare and timpani.
I use to have daily battles with a teacher in 3rd grade who told me there was certain playground equipment I wasn't allowed to use, every day I went out and played with my friends on those pieces she didn't want me on; my parents and other teachers backed me up so eventually it became a non-issue.
I'm currently a world ranked powerlifter in a sighted federation for my age and weight class. 12 years ago I wanted to be the strongest blind man in the world, when I won gold in Quebec back in 2003 with a less than stellar total, i changed my goal to compete against sighted people. Last June, I won a best lifter award at a meet for having the best pound for pound total as a raw lifter. At 45, i'm much stronger than I was at 33.
So, there's nothing you can't do if you want to within reason of course. I know I'll never get a job flying 737's for United Airlines.
But back to this thread's subject
After my divorce (from a sighted woman) I did an experiment once with one of the dating sites that charge you. My plan was to put the fact that I could not see in my profile, and weed out the shallow ladies up front.
Turns out, that for all the assumed evolved sensibilities, in general, women might be a bit more like us men when it comes to that kind of stuff. I had two dates in 18 months. I had more luck at a local hang-out during this time. After the 18 months, I set up a profile on a free dating site, and left out the fact that I couldn't see using the same profile's written description besides.
I dated 6 women in the first 3 weeks (all sighted). Seems that if you trade emails/texts for a couple days, then tell them you are blind/VI after they know you, women are more inclined to give you a shot because they see a possibility at happiness in spite of the lack of vision.
Almost 4 years later, I'm still with the sixth person I dated who now lives with me in my house, and just finished her conversion to Catholicism so we can now both be fully active in the church where we attend mass. it's been wonderful.
My mind and spirit are in a better place than they have been in a very long time. Just by being myself, and refusing to buy the crap society tries to sell everyone; sighted or not.
Find out what your gifts are, and use them. Dont be shy, don't be someone you're not, and you will find friends/dates/whatever you want to find that makes you happy. And don't feel like you can't go to certain places. You belong any where you want to be.
Mike

(This post was edited by the author on 4/5/2016 at 12:55 PM)


Re: Has anybody ever felt intimidated dating a sighted person?



Hey MeAsIAm,

hope you are doing well.

It took a lot of work bro. Plus, the most important thing is to accept myself and I do not apologize for it. It's not our fault that we have this condition in our eyes, if we had the choice, we would change it in a snap, but we can't.

You may not realize it now, but the good thing about women, is that they are not as visual as us men. We love beauty!!! We love women who looks great, so much in fact, that we will disregard if we are not so compatible with her....lol

With that said, as long as you display Alpha personal qualaties like

-Being confident
-Being yourself
-Do not apologize for everything
-we do not submit to society, society submits to us.
etc

women can sense that and will like you for it. I have noticed that as long as your values are high, you are ambitious, provided great energy and be a negative person. Your chances just increased by 70% right there.

I have a podcast about it MeAsIAm. Please let me know if you want me to share with you bro. Thank and thank you for the reply. I hope to hear from you soon.

The low Vision Guy


Re: Has anybody ever felt intimidated dating a sighted person?



Hey Jayden,

Thank you for sharing!!!! If I know someone who is a musician and single, I a will make sure to send them your way..laugh

I mostly dated sighted women, however, I did date one girl who was blind also. To me, I love women and of course, I have to have some sort of attraction to the other person. I noticed that when I meet women who are low vision or blind, they are immediately attracted to me.

At first, I didn't know why, but as i go older, it was clear to me

We belong to a community that in some cases in discriminated by society. As a result, we also have insecurities that come with it. Plus, I was and sometimes, still live in fear of what people might think of me and my vision. It took a lot of work, but I conditioned myself to be my best self. So, no negativity, self doubt, being secure in myself and other ALPHA qualties that i wanted to have. As a result, women from the low vision and blind community love that because so many of us men are insecure of women will judge us who judge us because of our vision. I think its harder on men , then it is on women.

My current girlfriend now is sighted and she is fully aware of my condition. She drives us around and even support my blog.
lowvisionguy.com

What do you think Jayden


Re: Has anybody ever felt intimidated dating a sighted person?



Wow! I have to say that I'm kind of blown away by your ability to be 'normal'. I only say that because the more my disease progresses, the more I feel like I can't do normal things, like going out and hanging out with friends, whether it is some place public or in their homes. I guess I just feel very intimidated by my lack of vision. So, tell me, how do you go about going out when you have low vision? I'm assuming yours must be somewhat comparable to mine as I don't drive either. Just looking for encouragement.


Re: Has anybody ever felt intimidated dating a sighted person?



So since you brought it up, what do you feel
about dating sighted people? Do you mostly date
other blind people?


Re: Has anybody ever felt intimidated dating a sighted person?



PS I am attracted to a guy who is a blind musician
but that is mostly due to his looks, but equally
due to his musicianship and ability to sing.
A songwriter myself, pianist, etc,. I have always
been drawn to other musicians..This is just something
that is a part of my life. (My sighted boyfriend was
a classical Music performer as well as being very
intelligent).( I don't really want a life without music
of some sort in my life. That's not me,)
Affection (with me), also is a crucial part of my life.
Which can be gotten both through sighted people as well.
I think that is an individual thing. One of importance to me
in my life.
As Also is Christian and Judaic belief. Actually first on
my "list", is a must have a man whose heart is given
to God. That is absolutely non-negotiable.


Re: Has anybody ever felt intimidated dating a sighted person?



Hi;

As for me, I date both sighted (my last relationship being well over
20 years-we are still friends), as well am open
to dating visually impaired.
That is not to say that I am interested in dating
just any low vision guy that comes my way (or doesn't).
There HAS to be an initial attraction of some kind,
be it looks, personality, intelligence, etc just as
anyone else.
As for location, other than friends I have who are
already blind/vi, th3re is only one now, and I would be
friends with him whether he could see or not.
Than than him, most live (it seems) up North.
I can't speak for the rest of the people who seem to
want to date low vision people.


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